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The Millennial Pledge

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I pledge to feel the stress but not let it define me. I retain both the right to feel “happy, free, confused and lonely” at the same time and the right to buckle at the thought of dancing to Taylor Swift at 24 years old.

I reserve the right to check my iPhone while someone is talking to(/at) me. I pledge to feel awful about it shortly thereafter.

I reserve the right to worry about my (limited) influence on Instagram when I lose more than two followers in a day. I acknowledge the frivolity of using the JustUnfollow app to vengefully unfollow anyone who may have done so first. I pledge to deeply ponder about the post(s) that may have caused such actions.

I pledge to take myself out of my comfort zone, since we all know that’s where the magic happens.

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I pledge to learn “the money things” and treat my (limited) capital the way I would want my (limited) capital to treat me.

I pledge to simultaneously exploit the stereotypes associated with millennials and to shake with fury at millennial trend pieces. I reserve the right to identify as a member of the generation that will save everyone and the one with no critical thinking skills, respectively.

Finally, to those who scold, cluck, wag, eye roll or head shake at my indecencies: I pledge to remind you all that I’m a millennial who only thinks he knows everything.

Take the plunge and take the pledge. You’re only a 20something once.

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